Is love real?
“It’s easy to understand the reasons. It’s even easier to discard feelings over justifiable reasons. But, reasons do not heal wounds, nor it gives comfort to the hurting heart. Above all reasons, intentions and motives are what matters”.
Sometimes, the brain tells the heart that she is being unreasonable. And the heart agrees, but deep inside, she knows that there is a rationale for the feelings she has. She is sure that the events are not what pains her, but the motives that resulted in such events.
A lot of times, a wife cries over things her husband will never understand. And even after she pours her heart out to let him understand, and even if he sometimes agrees, a similar scenario happens, only this time it was done differently but has the same effect on her. Until the wife learns to cry in secret, and she tucks away her feelings in the creases of her heart. But then the hurts grew in number until they no longer fit in the creases, and they outgrew the memories of love.
What does it mean to truly love someone?
If you are a wife, or a woman who is full of hurt, I would like to tell you (full of concern and good intentions) that “love is not about you”. When we love others, it is not because we inwardly wanted it for ourselves. Loving should not be bought for something that we want for ourselves. Out of love we give service to others. Out of love we care for others. Out of love we sacrifice for others. We do not do things out of love because you expect it to be reciprocated. Love your husband, your parents, your siblings, your friends the way you want to be loved and never expect it to be reciprocated. God gave His son for all mankind, even knowing that it will not be reciprocated. That is Love.
The Five Love Languages
The book of Gary Chapman “Five Love Languages” is a great tool for us to determine our love language, and probably the love language of our special someone. Yup, love has five major language. Remember that one time, it was your anniversary and he sends you a flower but did not bother to take some time off from work? Or that one time when you mom did not attend your graduation because she was busy cooking for your celebration? Each one of us has different expression of love. Sometimes, our heart understand love spoken in words, or maybe even if we hear the words, we prefer a gift to feel special.
But then, a love spoken in different languages should not be a barrier for us to love and be loved. Remember, love is not about you. Speak the love language of your husband because you know he would appreciate it more. And remember to feel special every time he expresses his love in his language. Its probably not what we wanted, but hey “love is not about you”. Love is what we give not what we receive. Don’t worry, when his love tank is full, you can ask him anything.
And when you heart begins to ache, have comfort that love is not about you. And most importantly, KNOW THAT GOD LOVES YOU, and that’s all you will ever need.