I have always fought anxiety my whole life. And I will probably need to fight with it until my hair turns gray. For most of my life, I felt like a fake person and pretending to please other people. But truthfully, there is this sadness, anger, and dissatisfaction that I cannot shake off. The worst thing about all of these is that I cannot find any reason to feel such negative emotions.

Just the other day, my sister and I were talking about our careers. During our conversation, I realized that I spent five years in my previous job living in anxiety. So much so that I probably spent half of my salary on my stress eating habits. But when I finally quit, I found myself in the rock-bottom.

If you have suicidal ideation, get help through the National Mental Health Crisis Hotline here.

How to know if you hit rock-bottom

Photo by Dr B’shree Jagdale

How do we know if we hit rock-bottom? Well, for me, I did not know. I just woke up in the morning after crying so much at night that I could no longer go on. The day before that, I was hopeful and optimistic that l was only on a curve and that my life will turn to be better. But that day, I woke up and knew that there is nothing more to live. 

Fortunately, I got the hold of things the second time it happened. After one eventful trigger, I was able to come back up. Although I knew it was lingering around somewhere, and I needed to be careful. But even after being careful, I had another trigger and fell deeper into loneliness.

Hitting the rock-bottom may happen differently for everyone. But there are common signs that may indicate that you have reached your lowest. According to the dictionary, rock-bottom is when you are most unhappy in your entire life. Some would describe it as the feeling of being lost or hopeless.

Grieving is an emotion of extreme sadness due to the loss of a loved one, specifically through death. But grief is also related to any feelings of loss such as in the case of hitting rock-bottom. The NIH described this as a grief reaction and may lead to different emotional and physical symptoms. Such symptoms could vary from person to person or of the same person at varying times. Symptoms may include:

  1. Emotions such as anger, denial, numbness, helplessness, yearning, guilt, and/or depression.
  2. Thoughts such as confusion, disbelief, difficulty concentrating, or preoccupation.
  3. Physical symptoms such as headache, stomach upset, nausea, fatigue, tightness of throat, chest heaviness, and vulnerability to illness.
  4. Behaviors such as insomnia, loss of interest in usual activities, irritability, and constant anger outbursts.
Photo by Kasuma

What I found in my rock-bottom

They say that you will never be successful until you hit your rock-bottom. And this has been proven by successful people like J.K Rowlings, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, and many more. But more than success, I found the true meaning of hope in my circumstances when my life seems hopeless.

In Psalms 18:2 it says “The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold”. 

Then if God is my rock, I have nothing to fear whenever I hit rock bottom. All I have to do is to fully embrace the fact that I have nothing left except for the “Rock” where I am at the moment. Because that same rock is my fortress and my deliverer. He is my salvation and stronghold.

I was at my weakest, but I have nothing to worry about because God is working on my behalf. It says in Isiah 20:41 “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  

It was a picture of a seed sown. It was like a seed placed in the underground bathed in sunshine and watered daily. But it was a perfect place and will soon grow roots and leaf. 

And God never required me to do anything but to wait only for Him and receive His daily provision. It says in Romans 12:12 “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer”.

Photo by Katsuwow

How to uplift self from the rock-bottom

Self-awareness was the vital shift that happened to me. It was knowing that I constantly suffer from anxiety that makes me more resilient. As said in Mathew 6, do not worry about tomorrow. And through self-awareness, I found that one thing that has tremendously helped me to overcome my brokenness. It is through prayers and petitions that I have found hope and strength to push forward.

In my experience, even prayer becomes difficult and hurtful. But whatever I do, as long as I lift it to the Lord, I feel the strength to continue. At times, all I can do is cry and could only utter his name ~ Jesus, Jesus. Other times, I wrote my prayers to keep my mind more focused. At other times, all I can do is to stay silent and accept the peace from God. As said in Philippians 6:7 “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.

Here are other ways to help rebuild self as well.

  1. Establish a routine or start a new hobby to keep your mind off from indulging in negative thoughts.
  2. Eat healthy meals and exercise regularly. With a healthy body, your mind is more clear to tackle challenges.
  3. Cultivate a support-system from friends and family who can lend you a hand or a shoulder to cry on.
  4. Eliminate clutters. A clean space helps clear your mind and reduce visual stressors. Identifying stressors and eliminating them can also help you restart your life.

More Inspiration from the Bible

The bottom line, being on the rock-bottom should no longer scare us. We should be confident that falling to rock bottom is a situation where we can meet the Lord in His full glory. 

Here is a list of Bible inspiration to keep us hopeful during our weak moments.

1 Chronicles 6:11 

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.”

Bible Verse Inspiration

Isaiah 40:29

“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.”

Joshua 1:9

“Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Psalm 46:1-3

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

Isaiah 12:2

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”

1 Peter 5:10

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Bible Verse Inspiration

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