Part 2 of the Freedom Calls blog post.
The Lord said, “quit for I am calling you into a place that I’ll show you”. I obeyed and deep down my id was celebrating my obedience. I had great pride in my righteousness. It felt like I honored God with my sacrifice. However, when I experienced difficulties due to my decision, I immediately doubted my inspiration. I asked God multiple times if I heard Him right. I demanded that He honors my obedience and wipe out my worries and struggles if it was really Him. I expected Him to speak to me like He did that last time. It was crystal clear. But it never happened. I called upon Him once again and pleaded for His promises. But again, He was quiet.
Satan played with my emotions and tickled my imagination of ending it all during those dark times. I blamed the Lord for not rescuing me. I asked Him repeatedly to help me out of my struggles. He never came to my rescue. It was the fear of the Lord that gave me the strength to keep going. Yes, He is my rescue and my refuge. But He is also the Lord whom I serve. The Lord finally answered my pleas and reminded me of His commands. I realized that He did not command me to quit. He allowed it because I asked for a reprieve. But He commanded me to keep my faith and to allow Him to lead me to the place He had instructed.
It wasn’t a job or business that He wants me to have. It was eternal life after earth. I needed to pray for my family so we can all go into the house of the Lord. Sometimes I put the Lord boxed into the things that I see and never allowing Him to show real miracles. I became a proud Christians marveling at my ability to obey. But when the Lord checked my heart, I discovered self-righteousness.
Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”.
When we do things for the Lord, we equate ourselves with the likes of Abraham, Job, Joseph, and Daniel. But if we honestly check our hearts, we are like Jonah and Gideon. We follow God if it is right with us and that God has put everything in its place.
I had many defeats but I have gained what is essential. My brokenness resulted in a breakthrough in my spiritual life. I had a breakthrough in my marriage, parenting, and evangelism with friends. In full acceptance of God’s grace, I get to see the result of His calling. I have learned obedience in difficult seasons, but I received grace abundantly. My future holds more difficulties but my hope is in the Lord.